Bed time seems to be the hardest part of our day. Jonathan has delt with "bad dreams" for quite a while. Little did I know that this is a sign of anxiety. He is doing better now that he is getting help
Before school started I took the kids to have a little fun at Crayola Experience. We were in line to do one of the activities, the girl helping the kids asked Jonathan witch mold he wanted to make "Emoji or a ring?"
I saw this necklace and knew it was somethings I wanted to be reminded of. I can do all things through His strength, not mine. If it is strength you see when you look at me it is not mine. Mine was gone long ago. The only reason I am able to do all that I do is through God's grace that gives me strength each day.
The Bible says "do not fear" 365 times.
But today I find myself in a place I know that I am afraid.
It seems like I am reliving a nightmare that I never wanted to be in the first time.
Continuing the thought of exercising my faith from last week. What does exercising faith look like?
Today is hard but I will trust that God is at work. What looks like a mess to me is Him working. I believe God will bring a masterpiece together. I will cling to His promise that He works all things (even the hard days) together for good (Romans 8:28).
There were tears as I cried out to God: "This isn't fair... I already deal with so much with Grace. Why them too? I can't do this..."
BUT GOD - where He guides, He provides
With the weight of now having not one but multiple, with not some but all my children having some kind of special needs, I cried out to my God, My Father.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9a
Awana means so much to me. As leaders, we hear the kids recite their verses and wonder if they are getting it. But let me tell you as a kid who grew up going to Awana, it is these verses that I learned as a child that I find myself going back to and the ones I know best.
When someone hears my story I sometimes get told
"God won't give you more than you can handle"
I've often just smile but I really don't like being told this. They may see the girl standing in front of them at the moment and she may look strong. But what they don't know is that I am literally biting my tongue because I don't want to cry (again).
Two of my children now wear hearing aids in both ears. The first time they wore them to school Jonathan begged me not to have to wear them.
They are His before they are mine.
Because I believe this to be true I know that I can trust Him with the plans and paths that He has for them.