Last year I told to not fill my time just to be busy. That God had given this time (the hours kids were in school) for a reason.
She was right
Last year was full of paperwork and meetings.
Than doctors appointments, new diagnosis more paperwork, and more meetings.
All of which also took a toll on me emotionally as well as being physically demanding.
In late spring I applied for a couple of little jobs.
But I watched doors close.
Even after I was told they love to have me,
At best I was told to come back in the fall when they would reopen a position.
I came to the point I knew God was telling me to wait.
May ended up being the craziest busiest month of all!
I was glad I had not found a job.
I was so happy when June came.
The school year ended (we made it!), Doctor’s appointments got spaced out… rest from the non-stop going.
I said, “let summer be a season of rest”.
I enjoyed my kids being home. I enjoyed not having extra things to do.
I felt like I had a little time to process all that had taken place during the school year.
But, I also had in my mind that summer was the season of rest and as soon as school started up surely God would open the door to what He had just waiting for me!!!
And I was looking forward to it!
Kids started school and I once again put a couple applications in.
Just trying to find a way to make good use of my time while the kids have school.
But, my availability is limited.
Then added in is the fact that I have 3 children with special needs.
That means that availability also needs to be flexible. They have doctors appointments we have to go to.
I know this is a door that God will have to open for the right job.
But today I’m a little discouraged.
I’m not sure what I can do and I feel a little useless.
What would allow me to care for my family and the needs of my children and still make good use of my time?
I know I need to wait…
But waiting is hard.
Waiting can be discouraging when I think I am ready to go.
My friend sent me this song.
As I lay listening to it last night I realized it was me who had this timeline of when I wanted doors to open.
And I was discouraged because they aren’t opening.
He is in the waiting
For my Birthday I received a few sweet gifts.
But, one of the great gifts I have ever received is a friend who prays for me.
I am blessed to have a few.
So, “take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul…”
I believe God has something for me.
I am asking Him “what do you have for me now?”
And I will wait as I expect Him to show me.
In His time
He is in the waiting
May I wait well
Today I will be faithful with the small things
so that tomorrow I will be faithful with what God gives me to do.
And I will wait on the Lord
Father thank you that you have a plan. That you can see so much more then I do that you often work in places that I can’t see. I come to you now and ask “what do you have for me now?” and I should. I wait expectantly for what you have for me. I found myself so discouraged because things weren’t happening in the timing I thought they should. Thank you for the reminder to wait on You and Your timing not just with a job with everything in my life. Father my needs are great, there are responsibilities I have and it will take a very special job to fit in with my family and time right now. I will wait for what you have for me. Help me to wait well.
I pray, in Jesus name, Amen