I am tired… I feel like I’m always tried…
This last week the kids had 4 doctor’s appointments in 5 days. Just a couple of weeks ago we had 3 appointments in 2 days. I am worn out just thinking about it. I feel stretched thin and if even one little thing gets added I’m going to tip over.
Special Needs Mom
I never thought I’d be a mom of a child with special needs. It just never crossed my mind until I had Grace. Having one child who requires extra care is hard physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I often feel bad about saying this because Grace is healthy, strong, and smart. I do however take her for many extra check-ups because we want to give her the best care we can. It has actually become amusing. Many of these doctor’s see her diagnosis examen her and comment “she is really healthy” as in this isn’t normal. I smile because I know that is God’s grace. Though she is very healthy she still does require extra care and there is an added responsibility.
Now all 3 of my children have some kind of special need(s). When the diagnosis for two children came at the beginning of this year it was overwhelming, it still is. Something about having more than one child who needs extra care. Something about all of them having at least one thing if not more. There have been more doctors appointments than I can count in the last few months. And there will be more to come this summer as we trying to figure out what is going on and the best ways we can help them.
This is not what I once envisioned when I thought of being a mother. Not what I thought about or hoped for when I learned my I was pregnant. My children are a blessing from God but there is an added responsibility that comes with each of them. This feels very heavy at times… okay most of the time. But God tells me;
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. …and you will find rest for your souls.” – Matthew 11:28-29b
When this life gets too heavy for me it is Him I need to go to. It is Him that will give my soul rest on these long days.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2
On these days when I am tried… when I feel like I can’t take one more step… when I cry out “I can’t do all this”. I will “lift my eyes to the mountains” and remember that my help, my strength, it comes from the Lord and when I can not He can. I don’t do this perfectly by any means. But I know what I need to do.
When you find yourself in a place where you have a lot to do, when demands are high, when you feel like feel like you just can’t take another step and you are going to tip over. Sit with God’s word. This is one I have been sitting with the last couple of days;
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Psalm 62:5-6
Father, you know how busy these days have been. You know that they are exhausting physically, mentally and even spiritually. Thank you that you walk every step with me and that I am not alone. Thank you for your precious word and you many promises. Help me to look to you when I am overwhelmed. In you I will find my rest, you are my hope, my salvation, fortress and when I stand on your promises
I will not be shaken because you are my rock.